Or something equally as horrible to your career. Will it affect the way your child and her teacher interact with one another? Do you think it would be wrong of me to date this girl once she graduates and if of age? I've gone out with women my age and older but I keep thinking about my teacher. What actual harm comes from this activity? Example: fight on the ice, get banned for life; screw a student, lose your tenure. My best friend is 10 years younger than I am, and we have lots in common. This is a question that turns on its facts: in a very large metropolitan area, where the origins of the acquaintanceship are unlikely to be visible to others, a subsequent social or romantic relationship may be no problem. This is incredibly difficult to place down into words because of the shameful nature of what I have done.Next
It may also be difficult for you to determine whether he's making a decision because it's an intelligent one or making a decision because it's what he prefers even though you should both have an equal say. Not really an issue these days since most manage to get into their 70's anyway. All the stress it puts on them makes them age much much faster. But you sense that you have crossed some line. That relationship is established only by individual consultation and execution of a written agreement for legal services. So get the advice of an attorney about how to respond should it come up. You aren't a trophy and you shouldn't be treated like one.Next
I would think, however, that Ick Factor and yes it is mild Ick Factor at work aside, there is a limit on the ban. What if you are just having casual sex with someone before they become your student? These are the realities of authority, professionalism, leadership and power. If this sentiment is held widely, it could make your future students uncomfortable. The age gap is something people will care about and if that's pure society or if biology comes into it is a discussion for another time. As the previous answer points out, there are other ethical considerations on the part of the teacher, such as the mere appearance of impropriety. You need to tell him to stop if he's doing something like that and you don't like it, and he needs to listen. Consider whether or not there is a school policy which discourages employees from dating their students' parents.Next
For anyone that's ever been in a relationship knows that that wuvvy-duvvy cherubs and rainbows honeymoon period you're going through right now doesn't last very long, and if you two aren't ready for the hardships of maintaining a serious life partnership, it can leave major emotional scars that are going to stick with you. Now apply this to her - do you really want to date someone like that? He is still with her after a year and half. The last thing you need to do is risk all that for a piece of you know what. Ask yourself these questions: Is your child likely to suffer from teasing because of your relationship? That's right because they'd suspend you pending a review including talking to the student and their parents. Plus, my wife would have handed me my head…literally. It seems this school did not in fact have a rule against such things, and all of his paramours were of legal age, but after a number of complaints from parents and other faculty about him the school decided it was necessary to do something.
It's also possible most people might view you as some kind of gold digger or something like that. Distorting the educational relationship is actual harm. So from my own personal perspective, it's nobody else's business if they don't like your relationship, although I would try and understand why some people may not like it. It's okay to fuck up and bump your head every once in a while, but if you can avoid trainwrecks, it's better to pull yourself a Neo and bullet-time outta harms way. Or would this cause trouble for the teacher? My mum knows how I feel and has met him on numerous occasions and really likes him, she has no problem with me being with him. I'm in a similar situation, expect that when I was in high school people thought we were sleeping together when we were not.Next
I suspect a lot of it comes down to the people who care about you simply being worried, rather than being petty or close minded. What do you think of teachers dating former students? I am guessing she can make that decision. With a background in teaching, Windsor writes about education, parenting and the arts. Your question lacks important historical background. Students frequently develop crushes on their teachers.Next
I had a teacher ask his former student out the day after graduation. Personally, I don't care about age gaps. You sound like a very chivalrous man. A2A No, I have never dated a former teacher of mine. If we distill out all other ethical conundrums that may be influencing this — is the Student angling for some post-graduation recommendation? So I think it begs the question is waiting one year going to make everything all right. .Next
The line may be technically blurry but in your heart it is quite clear: To the young man, you are still his teacher, still a person in a position of trust and authority. This girl was very mature and had a very sensible head on her shoulders. A female reader, , writes 11 June 2011 : don't wait for her. I think I might object to it for the same reasons I object to them using their influence to push their politics. Additionally the fact that two people in very distinct age brackets are at different life stages and may want to accomplish different things which can strain on a relationship. Nor is anything I wrote then revolutionary or new. She has no idea how I feel as I have never, and would never, under any circumstance, act on it while she is still a student, or under the age of 18.Next